CLOUD NINE The User's Guide and Owner's Manual
by WhimsicalHeart
Summary: You are now the proud owner of a CLOUD NINE unit. To unlock her full potential and to stop things turning into a circus please read the manual carefully.


**Disclaimer: **if we owned -man Leverrier would be known as one of two things. Either the Cockroach man or Hitler (WH: no we don't like him D: isn't that a bit of an understatement?). the layout for the user guide and owner's manual series belongs to Theresa Green and Saya-sama also does user manuals for the -man series, and she does them excellently.

**A/N:** we've actually got quite a few of these done, can you believe it? I'm very happy with this one, she was one of the harder units to write because we don't see so much of her but I like the end result. I think she would have been an awesome beast master when she was in the circus (WH: ne Ducky) yes? (WH: don't you think her and Allen would have got on well, I mean they are both circus people). Are you sure? You don't think she might mortify him? Thank you to every one who reviewed 

**A/N: **yip, big thankies to all who reviewed and an even bigger thanks to all who requested. We don't think to do those units till you request them and then we find ourselves loving every minute of creating them. On that note, we are still open to requests. We do have an ALLEN WALKER in the works and he is nearly done but don't count on seeing that one too soon. He is a lot of work, there is just so much to say but we should be done before the next -man chapter is up, or at least very soon after it is up.

**Congratulations**

You are now the proud owner of a CLOUD NINE unit. To unlock her full potential and to stop things turning into a circus please read the manual carefully. Management accepts no responsibility for any disciplinary measures taken by your CLOUD NINE unit due to actions that directly contradict the manual.

**Unit Specifications:**

**Name:** CLOUD NINE

**AKA: **ma'am, sensei

**Place of Manufacture:** America

**Age: **32

**Height:** 165cm

**Weight:** 48kg (D: you don't think that we might want to keep this information, um, well, secret, I can think of several women who may want to kill her weighing that little WH: yeah, specially when she's so tall)

**Blood Type:** B

**Your CLOUD NINE comes with the following accessories: **

1 whip

15 Hair bands

1 tight fitting exorcist shirt

2 loose exorcist sleeves

1 choker with red and gold set piece

1 set dangly earrings with red stones

2 pair white, long pants

2 blue, long sleeved shirt with puffy shoulders

1 belt

1 maroon, long sleeved shirt with puffed shoulders

1 pair knee high boots

1 pair white gloves

Parasitic/ Anti-Akuma Beast: LAU JIMIN™

**Removing your CLOUD NINE from the box:**

Should your CLOUD NINE be unwilling to remove herself from the box, remove all useless men from her immediate surroundings and try to check that her LAU JIMIN™ is all right. If the aforementioned criteria are met, do one of the following things. If they do not work, return her:

Shout "Akuma!" she should come out to kick the AKUMA unit's butt. You can then explain the situation to her. If the first thing to immerge from the box is an over grown mutant monkey please don't worry. That is the innocence of CLOUD NINE not the lady herself

Comment near the box that her students are about to be killed, she should come out to protect them. You will then need to face either her relief or her wrath

Comment that you just bought two sweet puppies that need taking care of and that need to be house trained. (WH: we would advise that you actually have the puppies in question otherwise she may be slightly … annoyed…)

**Programming:**

Once you have removed your CLOUD NINE from the box you may find that she is strict, disciplined, emotional and very fond of animals. There are no errors in her programming, she is meant to be like this, it is written on the box. As such, CLOUD NINE units are not suitable for people with bad manners, people who don't know what to do when a woman cries, animal haters or bad men.

**Exorcist:** are you having trouble with an akuma infection? Maybe you live in a war zone or someone who lives near you (D: and this had better not be you) owns a MILLENNIUM EARL/ NOAH/ AKUMA unit. You CLOUD NINE is one of the few units (and the only female unit) who can claim to be a GENERAL. She will wipe out the infestation with ease and leave you sleeping well at night.

**Bodyguard:** do you fear for your life? Are you afraid that someone will try to damage you? Do your massive muscles and intimidating face fail to deter people? (D: pussies) The answer is CLOUD NINE, she is an intelligent and dangerous fighter and trust us, there are well trained, cold blooded killers that will run when a six foot mutant monkey charges them. She doesn't look intimidating so she won't stop them attacking but when they do, there'll be hell to pay.

**Animal Trainer:** Before she was an exorcist, your CLOUD NINE unit was an animal trainer. She still enjoys training animals. Whether you want to impress your friends or start a circus, she will have those animals behaving better than you thought possible. An added bonus is that CLOUD NINE units are animal lovers and the animals in their care are never mistreated. While she specialises in animals she is also capable of training annoying siblings. (WH: ooh, I need one of these D: You need one? I need one! WH: I'm sorry but you have what, one younger sister? I have to deal with two, count 'em two, younger brothers not to mention my sister)

**Motivator: **do you know any children who lack the motivation to do their homework? Perhaps you're a teacher who is tired of hearing "The dog ate my homework", or maybe you feel you need motivation yourself. No matter what the reason you will find your CLOUD NINE is more than capable of … persuading you to do it. She will watch over you until your studying is done because she feels that a good education is an essential part of exorcist training.

**Your CLOUD NINE comes with the following modes:**

Calm (default)

Content

Strict

Attack

Angry

Emotional

Annoyed

Your unit's modes are not mutually exclusive, this means that by being in one mode does not mean that she automatically cannot be in any of the other modes. Your unit will usually appear to be quite cool, calm and collected. This is a property of her default mode Calm. She can remain totally unsurprised when even the strangest, most out of the ordinary things occur. This does not mean she is not superbly angry just that you don't know about it. This is a property of modes not being mutually exclusive.

You will find that your unit can be very strict about certain things (like behaviour and schooling) but she's an ex-beast master, what were you expecting? You don't get things done if you let you animals run amuck, in fact it is counter productive.

When your unit is in Attack mode you want to be elsewhere. She attacks with LAU JIMIN™ and they don't really respect property. Usually she will only enter this mode in the presence of an AKUMA unit, NOAH unit or any other threat as she is quite disciplined and doen't attack just because she is in Angry mode, unlike other units (D: cough LAVI cough KANDA cough, cough WH: you got that out of your system. D: cough ALLEN cough WINTERS SOKARO cough Tyki cough KOMUI LE- [WH steps on D's toes] ouch! Fine I'm done)

Angry mode is hard to identify as your CLOUD NINE is so in control of herself. Should she become sarcastic, refuse to speak to you or become colder than usual she is probably in Angry mode. To remove her from this mode, get her away from all bad men, make sure that there are no animals being hurt in the immediate area and leave her alone. Angry mode is very similar to Annoyed mode, the differences being that it is easier to get her into Annoyed mode and she isn't quite as upset.

Emotional mode is hard to activate, in emotional mode she will be publicly, emotional (i.e. she will cry where people can see her). In this mode, leave her alone, she is mourning and might not appreciate tactless people butting in.

**Feeding:**

Your CLOUD NINE unit is very efficient and perfectly capable of looking after herself. Years on the battlefield and years in the circus have taught her to eat what she needs. She will, on odd occasions, reluctantly have a glass of wine with MARIAN CROSS units but she is not overly fond of bad or useless men so we advise against this.

**Cleaning:**

She is known to be very clean and will always keep herself impeccably clean. She bathes with her LAU JIMIN™, and will keep him clean, even during power failures (she may get a little tense in power failures, as the last one she experienced was when a majority of the BLACK ORDER units became infected with KOMUVITAND™)

**Interaction with other Black Order units:**

MARIAN CROSS: your CLOUD NINE unit will sometimes consent to drink a glass of wine with this unit but as a rule, she doesn't like him. She will fight alongside if she has no other choice. She does not approve of this unit and his frivolous ways and is not afraid to tell him so, unfortunately, all he does is tease her, and at times deliberately misunderstand her, in return (D: actually, is there even a male she likes that we know of? WH: Timothy…? D: he's nine, nine year olds don't count)

TIMOTHY HEARST: she is this unit's master and as such, she does her best to take care of him. Your CLOUD NINE is a very strict unit and will often accept an EMILIA GALMAR unit's assistance in taking care of TIMOTHY HEARST units. The main problem lies in the fact that your CLOUD NINE believes that studies are an essential part of a young exorcist's life, all TIMOTHY HEARST units believe the opposite. He will ultimately listen to your unit.

WINTERS SOKARO: this unit is liable to push your unit into annoyed mode after the death of your CLOUD NINE unit's students. He will tell her he feels no sympathy, for his own, because they were loser dogs. She will fight alongside this unit when the situation calls for it and does not appear to resent him overly much. In fact, they are capable of having a civil conversation (D: yeah but ultimately, CLOUD NINE can have a civil conversation with anyone including those she dislikes…WH: SOKARO has trouble being polite but I guess he respects the strong D: no I think he puts up with them)

FROI TIEDOLL: she will generally be polite round this unit and will probably stay in calm mode round hi. She respects him as a GENERAL unit and will fight alongside him if necessary. They will arrive together with the other GENERAL units in order to protect an AKUMA EGG™ from being stolen. She will also tell him do guard the SCIENCE DEPARTMENT units in the fight.

ALLEN WALKER: she is impartial to this unit and wil quite happily attack an AKUMA EGG™ with him on it. She will also however pitch up to stop the ALLEN WALKER unit and the AKUMA EGG™ from being taken, no she is not schitzo.

MALCOLM C. LEVERRIER: she will attend meetings held by this unit in regards to CROSS and NOAH'S ARK

MIRANDA LOTTO: she will attack an AKUMA EGG™ unit while a LULUBELL unit holds a MIRANDA LOTTO unit against it to stop her activating her innocence and in an attempt to stop the GENERAL units from attacking. Your CLOUD will probably attack while an ALLEN WALKER unit tries to save the MIRANDA unit.

**Interaction with other units:**

LULUBELL: she will fight with this unit when they meet and will try to destroy any AKUMA EGG™ models that this unit is trying to protect. While it will be a difficult fight she will eventually damage the AKUMA EGG™ sufficiently, often right before the LULUBELL unit can disappear with it. She will also often do this with the help of a WINTERS SOCARO and MARIAN CROSS unit.

AKUMA: your unit will destroy these units the second she is conscious of them and don't think that because she looks like such a nice, lovely, refined lady that she won't or that she'll show them mercy. She'll wipe these units out quickly and effectively. (D: as we state time and again, she is one scary woman who knows what she wants WH: and doesn't want…)

**Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):**

**Question:** argh, help my CLOUD NINE is running round biting people, she looks like a zombie! When she bites other units they become like her! Please I'm scared, I'm hiding under the bed while I'm typing this on my cell phone, what can I do?

**Answer:** oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… what has happened is that she has been infected with a virus called KOMUVITAN-D™ which was created by a KOMUI unit. It's a prescription that cures away all your tiredness so that you can continue working. It's so powerful that it cures away all your logic and reason too. It is a completely useless treatment for overtime zombies. Why did he make it? We're not sure, that is one of the mysteries that is a KOMUI LEE unit. You will need a BAK CHAN unit to get the cure as a KOMUI LEE unit will just get himself bitten. If it makes you feel any better they can't infect you. The infection runs on the circuits of the units, they can only bite the hell out of you. (D: yeah so hiding under the bed won't give you cover for a long time…start thinking of another place to hide…oh and good luck from the management team, we are with you…WH: in spirit…)

**Question:** I can't find an EDO: NOAH'S ARK™ upgrade for my CLOUD NINE unit I have searched everywhere some of the shops say they don't even have records of it existing! Why not, I like to keep my things up to date, please help.

**Answer: **all CLOUD NINE units come already equipped with there EDO: NOAH'S ARK™ installed, a majority of their programming stems from after the event and so we install it free of charge.

**Troubleshooting:**

**Problem:** my unit game with a really cute little monkey that I loved to play with and something unfortunate happened… IT TURNED INTO A MONSTER! And then, it turned back and they both acted as if nothing had happened O_O what's wrong with them?

**Solution:** nothing, the really cute monkey is LAU JIMIN™ a parasitic innocence. She was probably exorcising a few akuma, don't worry about it, it is completely natural. (D: by whose standards?! WH: for her!)

**Problem:** ever since my [insert animal here] got [enter accident here] my CLOUD NINE has been stuck in Angry/Emotional mode. How do I get her out of it?

**Solution:** see to it that you deal with the person responsible for the accident severely, if there was no responsible party just give her time, she shouldn't stay in the mode for too long.

**Problem:** the monkey freaked out! The monkey freaked out! She did something and now it's looking stranger than usual and she called it LAU GANTZ™ or something like that, wasn't the monkey called LAU JIMIN™? What's happening? What do I do?

**Solution:** start by thinking, breathing and not panicking. She simply put LAU JIMIN™ into long-range mode, it's no biggie, he'll go back to normal as per usual.


End file.
